Trip Report 11; BHX-MUC-TXL; TXL-BHX LH Y

Well, it was supposed to be a trip with the purpose of trying out the new shiny Berlin airport, but as we all know, Berlin's new airport is a bit of an epic fail. After a week or so where communications were non-existant from Lufty, I rang up to be told that the new service would operate from Tegel. This, of course, didn't stop the seat-shifters reassigning everyone to new seats (aisle, back of the bus, quickly corrected).

It wasn't the best of starts to a trip, for some reason I had a nuit gris and so ended up at BHX on about 2 hours sleep. However, I was to have a pleasant surprise when I dropped the case off, rather than the usual low-level grunting, a pleasant young man address me by name explained why he was giving me a HOT tag for the bag and wished me a nice journey. Mildly stunned, I wandered up to security, where there was a very short queue and I was quickly through to airside. I ignored the breakfast options in favour of free coffee, I wasn't feeling hungry but I did need a fix, so it was off to the CircusAir lounge. We were called roughly on time and I wandered up to gate 54, where I was again shocked by properly done boarding with priority boarding. Has someone from CircusAir been reading the blog?

Anyway, we had a shiny new Embraer 195, I had a decent seat, it was a bit full in steerage, so I had a seat opponent. We took off 10 late, which is sort of standard for the early MUC these days, there was a service, I declined the muffin, but I did have two cups of Lufthansa's tolerable coffee, I watched some stuff on the iPad to pass the time. When we got to MUC, we spent a good few minutes going to the bus farm but it was a fairly quick bus ride in. As MUC gets it right and doesn't lie like FRA, there was no need to reclear security, so it was off to the new Smoking Room (the old Rauchenhütten have gone) and then into the Schengen SEN lounge for a proper Butterbrezel and a quick sit down.


It was an Airbus 321 to Berlin and it wasn't quite as full, so I managed to snag one of the seat pairs in front of the exit row and escaped without a seat opponent. We were actually off bang on time and the service consisted of drinks and a choccy bar. Being a bit anti-sugar at that time, I declined the choccy bar and just had some more water. The 50 minutes to Berlin went quickly, although it was unusually bouncy on the way in. I waited only a few minutes for my bag and then it was quickly outside to have a smoke and contemplate how mean I was feeling,


After lining up the benefits of a taxi to the hotel and being possibly too early to check in versus being mean and dealing with an overcrowded bus, my innate pettiness won. I also contemplated a quick stop at Die Ess Bahn for a snack, but I still wasn't feeling too hungry, so I just queued up for a ticket and got on the X9 into town. Now the X9 runs to Bahnhof Zoo, but if like me you are getting the U2, the trick is to get off at Ernst-Reuter-Platz and get on the U2 there where you might get a seat. The trick worked and I got safely to Stadtmitte.


My ploy hadn't quite worked and my room wasn't ready, but they quickly found me another one (although I never got my Diamond amenity), I made a very quick trip out for some essentials (water, fags, crisps) and then came back, closed the curtains on my partial Dom view and crashed out for a  few hours, therefore missing about the only decent weather of the weekend.

Apart from that teensy glitchette, everything about the Berlin Hilton was fine. The lounge kept me in breakfast and sometimes in either afternoon tea or evening snacks, the wifi was solid, housekeeping were good and the refurbished bathrooms with the new showers are a joy. I wandered out plenty, but the wicked weather stopped several plans, but there was a decent exploration of the area South of the Tiergarten, a trip out to the Brauhaus in Spandau, a couple of attacks of Currywurst and a couple of Fleamarkets. 

Anyway, all too soon, it was time to go. As it was once again pissing down, I decided to get a taxi to Tegel and issued some route suggestions to the driver (like no Tiergarten Tunnels, no sneaking through Westhafen) and was swiftly facing the unsmiling visage of whatever ex-Interflug staff inhabit the Lufthansa bag drop off area. Having got rid of the Rimowa and popped to the WorldShop to pick up a model 747-800 for HWMBO, it was quickly into the SEN lounge for a quick pillage involving more Currywurst, Potato Salad and some cheese washed down with a couple of glasses of Coke. The TXL SEN lounge has a smoking room, which was better than standing outside that day.


After that, it was swiftly onto an Airbus 319 for the direct flight back to Birmingham, security (which is at the gate at Tegel) was quick and friendly and it was straight onto a half-full plane for the 1:40 mins journey back. I had no seat opponent, so it was out with the iPad and and use the middle seat as the table. The food offering was in a brightly coloured Berlin themed bag, but inside lurked the dreaded rooftile sandwich, I chose the ham, it was just as nasty as I remembered it to be, also lurking inside was an apple, a tiny bear-shaped choccy and a herbal cough sweet. There were two rounds of drink service and a rather long and bouncy decent into BHX. No queue at the UK border, bag off fifth and home in 20 mins.


I have realised that the direct Berlin has new opportunities, with it's 19:20 depart from BHX and its late afternoon departure from TXL, it means it's possible to have a short weekend in Berlin at the cost of no annual leave. Having found a cheap fare and a decent weekend rate at the Hilton, I shall be trying this out in September.

Where next, WAW in about five weeks - with a double dose of FRA for changing. I'm a glutton for punishment, but there's a miles promotion involving FRA at the moment and if I am going to pull next year off I need every mile I can get.

Trip report 10, Part 2 - IST-ZRH-BHX - LX C

It was a rainy Monday morning in Istanbul and I was being told it was much nicer weather at home. I got a taxi back to Ataturk airport which featured some fairly advanced driving in wet conditions. I wouldn't want to drive in Istanbul.


They take security rather seriously in Turkey, the Hilton has a metal detector you pass through, so you actually need to go through security in order to check in. There is no priority queue but they weren't that long. I was behind a gentleman travelling with a handsome ginger cat, who had to be held by a security guard whilst the gent was frisked. Swiss check-in was deserted, as in devoid of staff. I decided to go with the small bag as hand-luggage rather than check it in, I realised that this might cause a problem at Zürich, but I wasn't looking to hang around.


I made my way to the Turkish Airlines lounge, which has rather a good reputation, I can see why. It's large, it's tastefully decorated if a little random and cluttered in places, it also has a fairly wide range of offerings. There's a large sweet and cake section, several salad bars, a wide range of drinks and two stations producing some hot offerings. Very nice, I settled down with some sour cherry juice and a bowl of lentil soup with some good bread.

After couple of hours there, it was time to head to duty-free, get some fags and then find the smoking area. This is rather un-signposted and somewhat hidden away upstairs behind a rather attractive looking restaurant and bar up on a level with "the other lounges" including a HSBC Premier lounge which I considered crashing, but decided not to.


The queue for gate security was quite long, but I decided to join it, my mobile boarding pass caused some problems, but these were quickly resolved by the two gents running the check. Pretty much as soon as I went through, boarding started and I got on quickly before any baggage police arrived in order to grab some overhead locker space.


Considering the queues, boarding was completed quite quickly and we were underway fairly much on time. Service was prompt and I decided it was time for a nice Gin and Tonic before lunch was served.

Lunch looked pretty bad, but was surprisingly tasty. The salad was as naff as hell, but the chicken main course with the sliced potatoes was pretty good except for the veg which tasted a bit like a used stock mirepoix. The cheese was good and the fruit mousse desert was excellent and not too sweet. There was, of course, coffee and the Swiss chocolates to go with it.


We made extremely good progress on our way back to ZRH, it seemed like no time at all before we were heading back into better weather and there were plenty nice views to be appreciated before landing. We actually landed about 15 minutes early and went straight to a jet-bridge. I managed to be first to an empty transfer security and then quickly to the smoking room.


After that I wandered to the D Senator lounge for a drink, the reception was frosty to say the least, although the single word "Lufthansa" was uttered at me. The afternoon goodies were even more sparse than the lunchtime ones, but a small slice of chocolate cake and some Coke Light were imbibed. The chocolate cake wasn't the world's freshest, but the cold drink was very welcome.


With the "Go to Gate" flashing, it was time to board, what a pleasure it was to board the Fokker back to Birmingham via a jetty rather than via a bus, especially as there was no sign of the baggage checkers. We were quite cramped in Business Class, although at least the middle seats weren't taken up by upgrades which can sometimes happen. We left a couple of minutes late and were quickly on our way back to BHX.

It took a fairly long time for service to start in the cabin, maybe half an hour or more, however, when it started the young lady doing business class worked like a Trojan throughout, even with some nice touches like placing the snacks on a little plate, service well up to Swiss standards and a bit beyond from the Helvetic crew. The cold plate was unexciting, bits of chicken with rice and oddly thousand island dressing, but the cheese was nice and the dessert was the same as the flight out.


We landed a few minutes early and with hand luggage I was on my way to the taxi queue within 10 minutes of landing and back home within 40 minutes.


So what's next? A pretty busy two months back at home, then a few summer trips which may be worth reporting on. There's a trip to Berlin in LH Y, which would be unremarkable except I'm going into Tegel on one of the last days and flying out of the new Berlin Brandenburg just after it opens. So, there will be coverage of a new airport and hopefully a new SEN lounge. After that, there's a trip to Warsaw and Barcelona which should be worth reporting on. Other than that, it's just a dull selection of DUS, FRA and MUC which I won't bother with. 

Trip report 10, Part 1 – LX BHX-ZRH-IST, C-class

This was supposed to be a bit of a break in the Queen of Cities which might have better weather than the UK. As it was, home was 14C and sunny and Istanbul was 8 degrees and damp. C’est la vie.

As some of you know, LX has a rather favourable upgrade class which still earns full miles and points and whilst I suffer from mild Zürcherphobia, the need to get a few miles in to requalify for Senator by the end of this year is quite high – especially as Vater Lufthansa appear to be messing around with their fare classes (I think I’ll requalify on the 30^th of December) So Swiss Business Class it was by paying the extra 100 quid for the upgrade.

Now, of course, Zürich has changed, the repulsive B-bus gates are gone, replaced by a new area and there are various other enhancements. So that was worth a look as well.

The first leg, is, of course, a trip on the DaddyFokker wetleased from Helvetic which I’ve done a fair few times before. So, knowing what to expect, I pass through security, avoid the vile BHX lounge and got to Pret. Pret have no baguettes, so I decide to treat myself to a Full English in what used to be Yates and is now calling its self “The Meriden”. I’ll give the full English 7/10 and the coffee 2/10.

After the usual pisspoor BHX ground handling experience, we are finally signalled by a bellow that we can board the Fokker. It’s a pretty full flight, about 90% and there is the usual stream of rejected Hand Luggage that doesn’t fit in the smaller bins on the Fokker 100. So we leave late, which possibly could have been avoided if the ground handlers had even 25% of the persistence of the Zürcherkofferpolizei.

Of course, someone has obviously been reading Flyertalk at LX headquarters, where I have pointed out that Swiss do hot breakfast on all their other UK/Ireland flights except Birmingham, which also has the highest average ticket price. The yoghurt and bit of frozen fruit with the minging mini-crossiant have been enhanced, the fruit has gone and there is a hot dish and a bit of cheese and something repulsive looking. The hot dish appears to be an airline omelette with a pale sossidge (could be chicken, could be veal, could be repulsive), tomato concasse and spinach and it smells bad. I turn it down, but its unpleasant stench lingers for much of the two hour flight to Zürich.

Needless to say, no breakfast means no further service except for the offer of booze and fags duty-free. Whilst there are good Helvetic crews, the average is not good and this one is distinctly average.

After a bit of dicking around holding, we are finally allowed into Zürich a mere 25 minutes late, however, this is where the improvements really start to kick in. Business class passengers now have a separate minibus of their own, which really speeds up transit to the terminal, unfortunately, ZRH then joins FRA on the list of airports which insist UK pax go through security again and as they have just done this new terminal they really don’t have the excuse FRAport has. However. Despite no obvious priority lane, security is quick and easy almost up to Birmingham’s excellent standard. The new D-area is a vast improvement on the old B-bus gates, it’s light airy and well designed and the only thing it really lacks are a few shops. I notice that my IST is running 20 minutes late and so I head off to the new D lounge.

The D-lounge is a fair way from the gates and has a very stoic gate warden who really didn’t want to communicate at all in German or English. There is a Business section, which is pretty Spartan and sort of hidden Senator section which is also pretty Spartan. I wasn’t pointed towards the Senator section, but that may be because the lounge warden is a mute. The food in the Business section consisted of soup, a hot place of rice and some fruit. The Senator section was enhanced with some sarnies and that tasty Swiss speciality Macaroni with Potatoes and Cheese. There are no toilets (they lurk just outside the lounge), there are no smoking areas and there are very few passengers in there. One wonders what Swiss immigration would say if you gave your immigration reason as “to visit a decent lounge and buy some Luxemburgli, I’ll only be an hour”. I left after about 10 minutes and found that there is a rather nice smoking room mid terminal in the B-gates, next to a cash bar which looks more enticing than the D-lounge.

ZRH D SEN Lounge - the Cold Stuff

ZRH D SEN Lounge the miserable hot stuff

All in all. Thumbs up for the Business Class bus, Thumbs up for the new D-area, Thumbs down for the D-lounge and thumbs down for the whole Non-Schengen-Non-Schengen transit experience which feels a bit third-rate.

Anyway, the boarding experience for the Airbus 321 to Istanbul is a bit better than the Birmingham One. They announce that Business Class, HON Circle, Senators and Star Gold’s have a separate boarding line and then they don’t open it. Twats. One obviously over-entitled passenger goes and asks about it, argues a bit with them, they open it and the shut it behind him. Twats. I just join the main queue as usual, rather than try and push in the front and get the evils. Oddly enough there is no sign of the baggage police who used to lurk around the old B-bus gates, which means that various people bring the kitchen sink on board.

The A321 is clean and bright had has the horrible NEK seats, but I think all LH group aircraft have now acquired these iron hard bundles of joy. Boarding seems to take ages, but there is a reasonable amount of eye-candy to be seen which brightens it all up after after a bit of a wait, we are all done and away and I end up without a seat opponent, so it's all good.

For this leg, I have picked a window seat, because there the route means that if the weather is clear, there is some nice views to be seen. Whilst cloudy over most of Croatia and Bosnia, it was clear from Zürich to Laibach and from bits of scenary peeking through the clouds from Skopje to Sofia and onwards to the Queen of Cities.

Anyway, this flight has a very good crew, the lady in charge of those of us in Business Class is prompt, busy and cheerful. Drinks are kept flowing all the way to the last half hour of the flight. There is a choice of Hot Lunch, either Veal or Risotto, I choose the Veal. It’s a Veal boulette with a sort of bubble and squeak and madeira sauce and some unshelled peas. It comes with a small and dull salad, two pieces of nice cheese presented on a slate, a small pot of Chocolate mousse on top of cherry compote and one and only one small bread rolls. The veal is good, the pudding is nice but very, very sweet. Decent Swiss white wine and two cups of coffee complete the meal. There is also a pass of the choccy basket.

Sorry, didn't get a decent shot of the veal dish.

Arrival was a little bit late into Istanbul, which didn't really matter, the connection had been made and I wasn't planning on doing anything in a hurry anyway. By the time I'd purchased my visa and got through the fast track passport control, my baggage was on the belt. A quick stop for a fag and it was into a taxi to take me to the Hilton. Probably about 20-25 minutes doors open to kerbside which is highly acceptable.

So, all in all, another OK to naff flight with Helvetic, a decent transfer with some disappointments at Zürich and a very good flight to Istanbul.

Trip Report 5 - BHX-FRA-PRG-FRA-BHX + Hilton Prague Old Town

Ah, back in the air again after a longer than usual break, with two nights in Prague on the menu. As usual, I booked the Hilton Old Town for the location and waited and waited for the authorisation for the ticket. Needless to say, by the time it came, we were up to painful fares on the needed flights. Swiss were cheapest, but the thought of double Fokkers and double bus gates at Zürich gave me the heebie-jeebies. So I made a little deal with me paying for a short haul Z fare and claiming for the M fare to give me access to the flight I needed to be on; otherwise it would be double Fokker.

This, of course, meant FRA, the early FRA and the breaking of a personal rule by having a short connect. So it was hand luggage only, using the small rolling case and the laptop bag for the simple reasons of being able to carry two pairs of shoes and have space for fags on the way back.

The Friday was a nearly perfect day for flying, so I switched from my usual aisle to a window for FRA-PRG. Having a nearly record run in a taxi meant I had plenty of time at BHX, so I quickly went through the painless security, bought some bits from Boots and WH Smug and then confident of being fed on the plane, I decided not to go to Pret for Brekkie but to go to the new revamped Servisair lounge for which I was triple qualified (Priority Pass, LH status, Business Class), it still took the 'tard on the desk about 3 minutes to decided if he could let me in or not. Whilst the revamped lounge is quite bright and airy, it still has the same miserable collection of shelf-stable cakes and packets of Quavers masquerading as food.

There was one of those Circusair "moments" over departure, the flight went from "5 mins to boarding", straight to "Departed" causing a small stampede over to the gate, where the staff looked confused and clueless. As usual, there were about 5 staff there, of which only one did the work. Anyway, with a light load, we were soon all boarded and up and away. Business Class was looked after by a charming (and rather woofy) purser, who quickly handed out the drinks and meals to the four of us in J.

Lufthansa has a new modular service concept of which Birmingham flights will be Band 2. The above was served for Breakfast, which looks about right for a Band 2 flight. The fruit salad was mainly apple with some kiwi and grapes, the "cold cuts" was a solitary slice of salami with a nice bit of Shropshire Blue and the croissant was naff. Seconds were offered on hot rolls and on coffees. They even generously gave me a sample of  the Economy offering, which didn't seem very Band 2.

However, i had it as a snack in the afternoon and it was quite tasty and has to be better than the dreaded cheese sandwich, not sure about it as a breakfast concept, I can see the Pret hot baguette still being eaten.

Needless to say, it was a bus gate arrival, I had been hoping for a stand, but it meant a mad chase was on. After the usual faffing around, we went on the usual magical mystery tour of Frankfurt airport before ending up at the B bus gates. From then the sprint was on, I had about 35 minutes to get through security and onto the next flight. Would there be chance for a fag? would there be a chance for a diet coke in the A26 slum lounge?

Luckily, there were no queues at immigration and it was straight to transfer security where I used the Business Class queue, however, it was proceeding at a truly glacial pace, with the little Beamtin operating it, stopping the belt constantly to adjust contents so that Alles in Ordnung and then huffing, fussing and rewinding, so that the whole process took over 10 minutes from joining a queue of 3 people to starting to stomp down the Tunnel of Hate. The Economy queues were moving faster, but had I gone through there I'd have never made the flight.

I ended up, hot, sweaty and slightly dishevelled at the A23 Raucherhütte with about 7 minutes to go before boarding ended, I had half a cancer stick then made it onto the A321 with, I think, the new seating as not quite the last passenger. I eased myself past a Septic into the window seat and relaxed.

FRA-PRG is a short flight of about 40 minutes, most of which I cheerfully gazed out of the window at the view of Hesse, Franconia, the Sudetenland and the approach to Prague. We were severed the Band 1 snack box which bemused the Septics on board who have been brainwashed over the years by their lame excuses for airlines that the elderly cabin crew can't do any service on a flight of less than an hour.

There was a ham roulade with julienne vegetables, a small salad with pine nuts, a mini roll and some brie with currant chutney. The first was fine, but there was something odd lurking beneath it, the salad was lovely, the brie wasn't bad. All in all, pretty good for a 40 minute flight.

Getting off at Prague, it was straight out, straight onto a 100 bus, quick fag break and the B-line metro all the way to the hotel. Less than 45 minutes, 26Kr cost as opposed whatever the average Prague taxi driver feels like. 

My room was ready at the Hilton and I was upgraded to an Executive Plus room, lovely big room with somewhat bathroom but a nice view (a bit noisy at night, but nothing too bad). I decided I just about had time for a real meal, so I nipped around the corner and had a plate of goulash (and a half litre)

The Goulash was very nice, especially with the added chilli and onion and the latkes were superb. I love Prague food, especially when eaten outside on a lovely afternoon.

Anyway, after a busy afternoon, it was just time for a wash and brush up before going out to eat for the evening. A lot of places were crowded and I ended up on somewhere on Hybernská having a decent if unusual pork schnitzel and some very good potato salad and a bottle of very strong dark beer. Afterwards, I went for posh drinkies in Buddha Bar, which was nice for the free prawn crackers, but a bit dark and pricey - nice range of spirits though. With such an early start, the tiredness was showing and it was back to the hotel for some kip.

The next day, sadly, wasn't so nice and sunny, in fact it was a bit grey and cloudy. After having a decent continental brekkie in the lounge (good coffee, good breads, poor sossidge), I met a friend and we went for lunch in the Potrefená Husa again on Hybernská, this is part of a Staropramen chain which looks to produce an upscale modern beerhall experience and succeeds very well. Good menu, nice decor and very good service standards. I was lured into the veal special, with mushroom sauce and gnocchi by the description from the server, washed down, of course, with Staropramen, my friend had an enormous plate of goulash.

Doesn't look a lot, but those gnocchi are very filling. A highly enjoyable meal after which, we went for a wander around the shops and then on a riverboat trip. After all this, I retired back to the hotel and went to the lounge for a cup of coffee and some snacks, as with last time, a nice little selection with the highlight being the rather good cheeseboard.

Having a project to work on, I stayed in that evening and ended up with a room service burger to fill the gap. The Hilton Burger is a variable feast, but the one at the Prague Old Town is truly excellent with good cheese, bacon, ripe tomato and very good chips. 

Anyway, after a nice day and a half in Prague, it was time to get up early and make my way by bus and metro, I did try and check in online, but the Lufthansa website was throwing a wobbler, which isn't unusual. Arriving a little later than I had planned, I swiftly saw all the self-service check-ins out of order and the queue snaking for ages - so I went into the business class queue where boarding passes were swiftly issued on Austrian stock (which is sort of fitting for Prague). Using the fast track security was a joy and then it was off to duty free to obtain fags for me and goodies for the office. I then wandered up to the Crystal Lounge which is operated by Czech Airlines (and used by Lufthansa), it was a bit ummm, sparse.

The seating was as uncomfortable as it was colourful. However, a quick soft drink, a riffle through a French newspaper (Air Chance use the lounge as well) and a rest stop were all welcome as I carefully repacked the bags to full expansion mode. There was a selection of drinks - sadly no beer tap (just canned Gambrinus) and some food in a fridge as well as a selection of nuts, crisps and FarmFoods broken biscuits.

Boarding the Airbus 321 was perfectly on time, although Business Class and Star Golds had to fight their way through people hanging around the gate. Boarding was very efficient for a flight with about 2 spare seats in Economy and 1 empty seat in Business. The crew on this flight were very efficient and had the lunch boxes out very quickly, they even managed to offer drinks 3 times on this short flight.

The introduction card for this - mentioned the dread words molecular gastronomy and the large number of Septics on the flight looked at it all very dubiously. I thought it was all rather splendid, there was a "sambal" prawn mounted on a herb jelly with couscous, a small piece of parma ham, some shaved and delicious cheese, a smidge of the dreaded Kräuterquark and a cherry tomato. There was also a mini chocolate muffin in creme anglaise. For 50 minutes, I thought this was excellent, although from the amount left by most pax, it wasn't a success in general.

On arriving in Frankfurt, it was swiftly through the Tunnel of Hate and immigration and into the Raucherhütte to top up levels. I then decided to head to the B4x Business Lounge rather than the B2x one, there's no real difference, but plenty of space to charge the iPhone and get some more work done. The food selection was, of course, abysmal - it's Mexican month, celebrated by Pickled Pepper salad and yes, a Mexican version of Kräuterquark. I had a piece of apple cake and a Coke Light or two.

I noticed that after a few months of the pleasure of a real gate with an airbridge for the BHX, it was back to the buses and the remote stand half way to Groß-Gerau, where I was surprised to see a BMI Airbus 319 on stand, then I remembered that some BHX's this summer will be Lufthansa flights operated by BMI (who are now owned by Lufthansa). 

We were welcomed on board by the BMI crew who did the usual rounds of newspapers and asked for drinks and food orders. It seems that these flights are not using the LH catering at least at the start and we had a choice of hot meals.

I choose the pasta, which was cheese tortellini in a spicy tomato sauce. There was a small salad with cottage cheese and a lemon panacotta, I had a white wine with it, but it was fairly hideous. The BMI crew were great and I look forward to a few more flights with them over the next few months as they operate the LH.

We landed a bit early and seeing the Emirates 77W land behind us, I made a determined effort to get through immigration and out to the taxi as fast as possible and I made it.

The early FRA

It's a loathsome thing, God wot. 07:10, which means even with hand-luggage having to be there for 6:00am, which means a taxi at some obscene hour.

Good Thing: I'm flying
Bad Thing: I could really do with out it this weekend

Good Thing: It's Prague
Bad Thing: Change at Frankfurt (sorry but FRA is preferable to props via MUC)

Good Thing: Saturday to myself
Bad Thing: 4 hour meeting on arrival

Good Thing: New revamped Shorthaul Business Class
Bad Thing: Short connections at Frankfurt (you'd think I'd learn)

Good Thing: The Hilton Q1 Promotion is still going on
Bad Thing: The room rate

Good Thing: Czech beer
Bad Thing: Can't drink much on my meds without falling asleep

Full report on return.

Trip Report 3 - Part 3 - Lufthansa FRA-BHX

Coming off the very tidy, very modern and exceptionally ugly railway station, it is wise to reprise the rules of Frankfurt.

1. Always follow the signs
2. Don't assume you know where you are going, they have bound to have changed it since you were last here
3. Always check your gate frequently, they'll change it
4. Always follow the signs

The passage from the long-distance station to Terminal 1 isn't quite perfect, at one point you end up going outside for about 10m and I noticed that the snow was still falling, but using my best dungeons and dragons mapping skills I managed to make my way to the check-in on concourse B. Shiny case was despatched to the baggage hold and the check-in lady informed me that the gate had moved from the dungeon of B55 to the slightly better bus gate at B32 and we were 20 minutes late but "Es kann mehr als das, die meisten Flüge sind um eine Stunde verzögert." Hmm, I might just be able to make my meeting, but it will be pushing it - a taxi from BHX will be needed.


B security was fairly vile. They have, I think 10 machines, there - 4 were operating, one for Business, First and Star Gold and 3 for the rest of us. B security has the advantage they you can see outside onto the A/B apron area and it didn't look too good. Security took about 15 minutes to get through, liveable with, but could do better. The process itself was fine, no Nude-O-Scope or groping at FRA.

Anyway, after a quick stop to buy a book and some Weihnachts-Chocolade, I proceed to the Business Lounge down at the B40's. The lounge wardens looked busy and harassed, looking at the board, I could see why, there were still undeparted flights from two and three hours before. Luckily, this is a large lounge and there were still seats available and I plonked myself down for what could be an extended stay. Sadly, the sossidges and soup that can be found were not to be seen and the usual potato salad had been replaced with Honig-Senf Quark (uuuuuugghh) to go with the usual horrid Kräuterquark. There was also some flaccid Green Bean salad. Not feeling like a gummibear binge, I settled for some bread and butter, coffee and water.


Looking out the window, the odd flight was taking off and landing through the snow and the mist, but not usually as busy as Frankfurt is. Also, my flight was slipping first to a 40 minute delay, then an hours delay, at this point I sent an email to give my apologies for the meeting, I wasn't going to make it and I could have flown back through DUS. Grrrr. The gate also changed to B30 and then to B33 (see rule 3).


Finally, the boarding light flashed by the Birmingham flight and we were set to board a mere 1hr 30mins late, except it was the usual bait and switch, having gone to the gate there was no sign of boarding. We had a plane, but our crew, it seems were still at Brussels. I was just about to slope off back to the lounge, but decided to check the gate again after a quick ciggie and found that boarding had started, A different crew had been found.


The bus took us out to the aircraft on a very remote stand fairly quickly, a Boeing 737-300 which was about 80% full. I was pleased to have a vacant middle seat between myself and my seat opponent, it's always nice and today turned out to be quite vital. The captain introduced himself and told us, it would be a short wait for our turn at the de-icers and then we would be off. Hurrah, with flights being cancelled left, right and centre, I was just pleased to be off. 


Unfortunately, it didn't quite work that way. After half an hour, the captain told us that, the de-icers would be another half-hour. After an hour, he said, they would be yet another half hour and the crew did a water and juice run. After an hour and a half, he said "I've been told it will be 20 minutes, but I don't believe them". Gulp. At the two hour mark, the sandwiches were distributed and the bar was unofficially open, the captain came out to talk to passengers and generally have a chat. That vacant middle seat was becoming a great boon. 


As it went onto three hours, an announcement was made that, a bus was coming in ten minutes to take anyone off who no longer wanted to wait. About a dozen people took this option and their bags were unloaded. By this time I was nearly through the book that I had purchased five hours or so previously. By this time, visibility was very low and ominiously we could no longer hear aircraft taking off and landing, personally, I was starting to wonder about the crew going out of hours. Just as we were coming up to four hours, there was a very ominous PA from the captain, the crew would be out of hours in 45 minutes but he'd been told that the system for de-icing had changed and we were next in the queue. We all laughed at that. We also had to be refuelled as the APU had used up so much fuel keeping us warm and with the lights on.


However, it seemed that FRAport had finally woken up to the weather and decided to actually do some sensible things, after about 4 hours and 20 mins on the aircraft, the engines started to a big cheer and we moved forward to be de-iced at the entrance to one of the runways. 10 minutes after that, we finally took off for Birmingham. The captain gunned it somewhat, we did the run in 1hr 10mins (it's usually 1hr 25ish), I suspect he had to make the Birmingham turnaround and get the crew back. We had an official bar service and the last few sandwiches were offered to those who wanted them. We eventually got in just over 6 hours late. Sadly, this was at the same time as the Emirates had landed and immigration was overwhelmed. In addition, UKBA were being politically correct - there were six agents, three for non-EU (about 40 pax) and three for EU/EEA (about 400 pax) - 35 minutes to be grunted at and the passport given  a cursory look. I really ought to sign up for Iris. Luckily, this did mean the bags were off and therefore straight out to the taxi rank, but not for my meeting, but for home.


I like to say that I thought our cabin and flight crew were brilliant. They communicated well, engaged with the passengers and kept us cheery. I'm not so convinced at LH Ops and FRAport, I understand that in bad WX conditions, it's important to have passengers on aircraft ready to go, but the priority was always going to be the longer flights. I think they should have kept us in the terminal for longer until there was a decent chance of getting us out of there.


There you go, another Lufthansa Cont Y trip - the last one of the year, but not the last trip of the year. Watch this space.

Trip Report 3 - Part 1 - Lufthansa BHX-DUS

I didn't get chance to do any posts about different types of aircraft, it's been a busy couple of weeks one way or another. However, I'm on the move again, this time to Köln for a bit of work and a bit of leisure.


After a busy morning at the office, I managed to get a taxi to Birmingham at about 1pm, the driver was a tad late because he assumed I was psychic about the pick-up point. However, the roads were fairly clear and by 1:30pm, I had deposited shiny case at the drop off desk, gotten my fast track security pass and was standing outside in the smoking zone to get freezing cold before making my way through the maze.


This time, despite being only 20 minutes later than last time, there was virtually no-one at security - fast track really wasn't needed. Two machines operating and four people waiting, straight through, no silly business with swabs and no Nude-O-Scopes or Gropes. This meant I had plenty of time to get a copy of The Economist, buy a couple of items from Boots and even get a salad at Pret. As is usual, I didn't bother with the truly dire lounge at BHX.


Boarding was the usual bait and switch, called to the gate ten minutes before they were actually ready. Four staff at the gate, one doing the work, three doing the hindering of the one doing the work with important news about X-Factor. They really do need some better staff, there again, perhaps if they paid a bit better and didn't have horrible split shifts.....


The aircraft was a CRJ-900, I've come to like this type over the last year. I loathe its little brother the CRJ-100/200 as being cramped, noisy and unpleasant, I'll tolerate the CRJ-700 as being better as long as you don't have a window or need to go to the loo, but the CRJ-900 is OK.


We had about 20 minutes waiting for slots and the crew were good enough to tell us we could keep our electronic equipment on. I see a growing number of iPads and Kindles on flights as the year progresses. I'm still not tempted by the iPad, but I'm starting to think about an Kindle.


We took off about 30 minutes late, which doesn't really matter because there's a silly amount of padding in the schedule anyway, although not quite enough in this case as we ended up arriving about 15 minutes late. Service was the usual LH standard, a drink (my choice was water) and a choice of repulsive half sandwiches ("cheese" or "meat not pork" - declined as I'd eaten). The crew were fine, although the one had trowelled on the make-up to a drag queen standard.


As usual, arrival at Düsseldorf was to a bus gate, although at Düsseldorf at least you don't end up half way to Essen. In contrast to my last three trips through DUS, we immediately end up in the baggage area, but went through immigration into the main terminal, which would have been nice on the last three trips to stop me having to re-clear security, but this time wasn't needed.


I had to wait a little while to collect my bag, not a BHX-type wait, but sadly, shiny case was the last one off the belt by which time it was 17:45 and I had 12 minutes to get to the train station via the Sky Train. This is pushing it, it's even more pushing it when the ticket machine isn't accepting coins or non-German Eurocards and there a couple of eejits in front of you trying their card again and again. Mind you, Deutsche Bahn, a better error message might help the feckless. Anyway,  wasn't going to make the 17:57 train by this time.


Little known DUS facts - yes, you do need a ticket to ride on the SkyTrain, yes, you do need to validate it after purchase, yes, they do inspect the tickets on the SkyTrain and yes, the Grippenführer can fine you 50€ if you are caught. 


At this point, it was a choice between the 18:34 Regional Express or going down to the other station (Düsseldorf Flughafen Terminal Bahnhof) and getting the rather slow S-Bahn at 18:12 which would get me in about five mins later than the 18:34 as it goes round the Wrekin. I chose to stick with the Regional Express as it gave me the chance to have a cigarette whilst waiting at a station which can best the described as a larger slightly more desolate version of Bristol Parkway. It arrived on time and was already rammed to the gunnels, so I stood for the 40 minute journey to Köln Hbf. Next time I'll get the S-Bahn, as it starts at DUS, there must be a decent chance of getting a seat.


Luckily, my hotel is less than 5 minutes shiver from the Hauptbahnof and I was able to get to my rubber chicken dinner with a couple of minutes to spare. I probably should have lingered, then I'd have had something decent to eat this evening :-)


Next: Köln, possibly Wuppertal, a nice ICE ride from Köln to Frankfurt and then another boring FRA-BHX leg.

Trip Report 1 - Part 2 - Lufthansa PRG-FRA-BHX

I proceeded to Prague Airport by bus, there being a direct service from just outside the hotel at a reasonable rate. More like a minivan than a bus, but ran every 30 minutes and didn't wave the Jolly Roger like most Prague taxis do.

The Schengen terminal is smart and modern and Lufthansa have quite a large check-in area. Fortunately, they have the auto check-in machines, unfortunately, they have staff to assist you how to use them. It's quite easy, I just walk up, put in shiny card and it spits out boarding passes. However, obviously, I didn't know how to use them and the staff attempted to assist, a 90 second job (now LH have fixed connection printing) turned into a five minute job. I then went to drop my bag, but there was an attempt to get me to join the rather large queue for the Business Class check-in rather than the very short one for Economy. "But you are entitled" was the plaintive cry. Whilst in the short Economy queue, I get asked if I want to join Miles and More, I smile and show her my card, "but do you want to join Miles and More", seems my card should be Blue not Silver.

Anyway, the rest of check-in was easy, a nice young man checked the Shiny Case through to BHX, I managed to get through security carefully avoiding the Kettleovs and Kettleova's in the one queue and went through into a bland but spacious and modern terminal. I swiftly bought choccies for work, fags for me and a fridge magnet for the fridge door (there might be some space on it). I then thought I'd spend my handful of change on a couple of final beers. Now a beer in Prague during the weekend had been between 19Kr and 40Kr, not at Prague Airport - it's 120Kr - a great big honking rip-off even by airport standards. I decided to save my shrapnel for another trip.

The short hop to Bankfurt was again on an Airbus 321, again, the aircraft was fairly full with a full 11 rows of business class - mainly occupied by a US basketball team and Chinese tourist group. We left a greyish PRG on time, we were proffered the "meat not pork" sandwich (I declined, partly because I've never had an explanation of what it actually is in there) anyway, a glass of water would suffice nicely for the hop. The grayish Prague weather had cleared on landing at Frankfurt and there were magnificent views of the skyscrapers of Mainhattan from the windows.

Needless to say there was an A-B transit involved,  however, FRA isn't spectacularly busy in the afternoon's and I had plenty of time to spare. A quick walk and very swift transit through Immigration to go non-Schengen, saw me with about an hour to kill before the BHX. I did think about doing some watch shopping, but I decided against it and went to the B4x lounge.

Now, the B non-Schengen lounges are quite roomy compared to the A26 slum and on an Monday afternoon, they are fairly empty. It's recently been done up, with best quality Politburo seating and some nice new flat screen panel TV's. There's even a pleasant looking terrace which if they thought about it they could open to smokers (or have a smoking room as per DUS, TXL, HAM).

The buffer had just been replenished (as opposed to the crumbs usually found at A26) and had a Bavarian theme to it. I had originally thought about a slice of plum cake, but I noticed something labelled as Obzada. , I quickly grabbed a scoop of that, some red onions (what, no radish?) and a Brez'n. It wasn't bad, although it wasn't up to the quality of the Obzada I usually get at the Viktuallenmarkt in Munich. It was accompanied by some sparkling water - Beck's rarely appeals to me and if it was Bavarian week, why not get some decent Helles in.

To my delight, I found that the BHX was going from an ordinary gate with a jet-bridge and not one of Frankfurts horrid little dungeons with an additional security check and a nice bus ride to your aircraft parked somewhere near Giessen. As is getting to be more and more common on the Birmingham services - we were on an Boeing 737-300. We boarded on time with the Daily Hate and the Daily Torygraph available to take as English newspapers (what a choice, eh)  - I had wickedly purloined a FAZ (Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung) from the lounge.

We were fairly full but not chocka and there were just two of us in the row, which makes things a little more comfy. Whilst we boarded on time, we did have to wait in a bit of queue for take off, but were quickly travelling towards Birmingham carefully avoiding Belgian air space (on strike again). Service was fairly quick with the dubious cheese roll on offer this time

I took a tomato juice (no vodka in Euro Economy on LH) and a black coffee to go with it. I have a theory that tomato juice always tastes at its best on an aircraft and I do like to use a little of the Pepper LH provide to go with it. After about an hour and 20 mins, we arrived at Birmingham and were quickly disgorged at the gate. Immigration had quite a queue, although 95% were EU citizens, so it all went quite quickly. Waiting for the bags, of course, wasn't quite so quick. BHX prides itself of being able to get all bags off a 737 in 45 minutes - they even put this on a poster. Personally, I think they should be ashamed myself, it may be fast compared to say Heathrow, but compared to say Singapore Changi (where I have yet to beat my bags to the belt) it's awful.

So there we go, a standard trip in LH Kont Y. The next one is in a couple of weeks, when I shall be doing my voucher trip to NUE, so I may well witter in a few days about luggage.